Monday, September 7, 2015

How to start trusting people again - Story about The Trust Tree

 
They Ate My Food Mom!

Trust is a natural instinct we are born with....

I have 4 cats and every morning I feed them their meaty breakfast of canned food. They get so excited as they follow me from the place where I keep their canned food all the way to their bowls as they trip me along the way.

 When my youngest and smallest cat named Sugar was a kitten, the older cats would push her away from her bowl and eat her food. Sugar eats much slower than the others, so she likes when I put her bowl right beside me as I keep my one hand on her back. She is so much calmer as she eats and is able to enjoy her breakfast without worrying if another cat is coming to steal her food.

I have a three level cat tree that is placed between a glass door and a window. So whoever gets done eating first gets the top seat which they are able to get a full perspective of both views. After they are finished, Sugar will either sit there and guard her bowl or go the top seat on the kitty tree.

If she leaves her bowl unguarded, she will get the top seat. If she stays and guards her bowl, then she loses the best view of the outside world.

The point to my story is that trust is a natural instinct we are born with. We are born fully trusting the world.We trust that our parents will take care of us while our survival needs will be provided for. We do not come out telling the doctor or our parents, "Put me back or I will never trust you after this experience of birth!" lol

As our lives move forward, experiences happens and we are conditioned  by society, family, relationships or friends not to trust.   We experience betrayal, unfaithfulness and other negative emotions that cause layers of "Smegma" to be layered upon the trusting souls we were born with.

How do we start trusting again?

What happens when we experience betrayal our brains go into protection mode. When we subconsciously see that the same experience could possibly happen again, our brain says, "Hell No! Do you remember when this happened with so and so? Do you want that to happen again? " and BAM! protection mode is set autonomically in our brains without us even realizing it!

Just like Sugar, when she was a kitten, her food was "stolen". Now, as an adult cat, she feels the need to protect her bowl from the older cats. It was set in her brain that if she leaves her bowl, her food will be taken. Well the same goes with the human experience.
What we have to do is reset those pathways in our fight or flight system that tell us that we MUST protect ourselves from specific situations.

When we stay in our "comfort zone" and continue to feel safe by guarding our "bowls", we are unable to climb to the top of our own tree, our life tree. But when we stop guarding, we are able to climb to our highest potential and sit at the very top so we can see the world from many different perspectives. We are able to see the world with a whole new view.

So let me ask you this....
Are you still guarding your bowl? Why?
What or who is stopping you from sitting at the top of your tree?




 

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